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The Dreadful Pimple Chronicle

A few days ago I had the most beastly torment that terrified me beyond any capacity of belief. I looked across the room, and there was this astonishing woman that looked like she came straight out of a fashion magazine. And this is when I wished I had never been born. When I looked to the right, I saw this great mirror. And right in the hub of my forehead, as if God had painted it there Herself, was a atrocious pimple the size of New York. My friend laughed out loud, as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. But swiftly, out of nowhere, somebody tossed me this shiny metal thing that turned out to be a brand new blackhead removal tool.And that’s when we started drinking from a large bottle of whiskey.

April 15th, 2010

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