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My friendship is in hell. Please assist!?
OKay, here’s there story:
Freshmen year of high school, I gotten use to having no friends at all. (I was treated as an outcast since I was in kindergarten) I planned just to get through the year without messing up my ‘quiet, smart girl’ image. Then I met Briana. I like anime (number one reason why I was rejected by class society) and she liked it to! I immediately wanted to be friends her, and I did but I was a bit pushy about it. Briana is really quiet and doesn’t like to talk much, but she’s funny and has a sarcastic attitude. She lightly teases and mess around in her good moods, but can turn emo at any moment because she hates school.
Quite the character, huh? Hehehe…
Though I’m mostly quiet myself and very polite around teacher, I’m actually really loud, annoying, whiny, and sometimes self-centered. (Truly I am!) I know that it has an affect on Briana because she doesn’t like that but we dealt with it. I toned my personality down a bit but I was still greatly annoying tomy friend when though they did like me (My squeaky high pitch voice didn’t help ><). We shared our lives to each other, something that I haven’t even done with my family. She didn’t judge me or anything—that’s when I knew I wanted her to be my friend closest to my heart.
Either way, Sophomore year scrolled in and we gain a group of friends, Briana, Eriel, Jordanna, and me. We are the smartest kids in the school and we all get along quite well, even though we have our differences. (Only rock music connects us all, and Spogebob, 
) During the second semester, my grades started to slip because of my outrageous absences from school, my friends started to worry slightly but my mom was in the hospital at the time and I was staying to relatives. Briana told me if I was absence one more day she would start ignoring me (which she does almost daily when I annoy her a little to much. She knows I don’t like being ignored to, which makes it worse) Pitiful me forgot all about that, so when spring break came a long and missed another day, she started to ignore me. At first I was confused because I didn’t know why, then when it lasted more than two weeks I started to get angry. My IM was getting rejected, she wouldn’t answer the phone, and would talk to me at school.
This hurted more than anyone could imagine. When though I had Jordanna and Eriel, Briana was my first real friend despite all the trouble we had to far. I thought it was my fault for pushing her to hard to be my friend, because i did sorta drag her into the friendship but she stayed nonetheless. After four weeks, i reached my limited. I demanded that she talk to me one day after school. She told me the reason that I forgot, and I was seriously angry. All that for just not coming o school. I couldn’t even speak clearly, I shaking to much. I end up storming off before I could say anything.
It took a weekend of thinking till I could cool my head, and I figured that I should apologize to her. By monday, I was ready to say it but I was a ghost to her. Every time I tried to say something, she end up leaving quietly. Or she talks to someone else. Jordanna and Eriel were confused on who to side on, but Jordanna supported me and Eriel just stay out of it(She’s just like that, hehehe).
It continued on towards the end of the school year, and all my efforts have been in vain. I kept blaming myself for this, and after one more attempt to talk to her and she just said ‘stop talking to her, she’s busy’ was when I came home in tears. She gotten so cold and distant, and it literally killed me inside. I cried nearly a whole weekend.
Then my confidences kicked in. (about time damn it!)
I am the way I am. I couldn’t change that for anyone, not Even my closest friend. I’m loud. I’m annoying. I’m whiny. I can be a bit absorbed to myself. I thought this over, and I finally stop trying to contact her or talk to her(REALLY HARD!) And over the summer I haven’t talked to her either.
Which brings us to now. School’s about to start, Junior on it’s way and her birthday just pasted. Sept 4. I wished her a happy birthday (the first time I ever IM her over the summer…
and I got a reply.
"Thanks"
That’s it, but my world was suddenly brighter (This is kinda pathetic. Even for me.) I tried to act nonchalant about it, even though she said she was busy. It slightly angered me that she forgot about my birthday which was only a few days before (August 21.)
Now, here’s where I need help.
School is starting and I’m wondering if I should accept everything again, not knowing whether she’s going to talk to me again. I wanna walkout of this friendship because it would be healthy for me, but at the same time–I don’t wanna lose her.
I need opinions please. Thanks for listening.
Honestly I don’t understand why Briana is mad at you. You missed school because your mom was sick she should have supported you and made sure you were okay. The only reason she would have to be upset would be if she was having trouble with something as well and you made it seem like you didn’t care. My friend and I have had that problem before but in the end what helped us was that we both admitted we were wrong.
One of us for not being attentive to the other one.
And the other one for not speaking up.
It also might be something different typically in High school your friends change alot I can’t tell you how many different people I have been friends with. That is part of growing up. Becoming who you are, and learning to cope with different types of people. It is preparing you for adulthood. For me I just go with the flow. I always find that the people I want to be around the most are the people that want to be around me to!
If I were you I would try calling my friend to see if we could go and talk face to face somewhere (not at each others houses a public place, meet there too.) When you get there tell her how you feel. Explain that you want to be friends and ask what upset HER so much last year. Tell her with school starting you need to be clear where your friendship stands and you need to know how she feels about being friends. If she says she doesn’t want to then thats okay, maybe that will change and maybe its just not meant to be. Make sure she knows you care about her. You need to be ready to apologize though and know that you might not get the outcome you want.
Don’t get angry. stay calm and simply discuss things.
the best thing to do is to go into knowing what you want but also being aware that she may not want the same things. Tell her how you feel but listen to her first. feel out the situation before decisions are made and remember that friendship is a two way street and that it takes two people to equally dedicate themselves to it.
P.S. Good luck
Go Anime!
5 Responses to “My friendship is in hell. Please assist!?”
Leave a Reply
September 6th, 2009
Posted by admin in imaging center phone number | 5 Comments »
good luck
References :
http://answers.yah00.com/question/answer?qid=20090906090721AAOrhxd
just see if she’ll talk to you and if not then…=l
i myself have a hard time making friends cuz i barely trust anyone.
References :
You said she wrote: ‘stop talking to her, she’s busy’
You admit it yourself, "I wanna walkout of this friendship because it would be healthy for me." Do the healthy thing. Walk away.
True friends don’t give up on a friendship because someone is absent. You know this girl is not a true friend. You know you would be healthier out of this relationship. You know she has told you, "stop talking to her, she’s busy."
Give it up. Walk away from this relationship. Work on being healthier . . . less loud, less whiny, less annoying, less self-absorbed. Work on developing real friendships. Get busy. Join in some school clubs and school activities. Meet new people. Good luck. You can do it.
References :
Your best bet is to move on and show her that you can be fine without her. By constantly trying to get her attention she kept the upper hand. If you ignore her (or let HER come to you) then you have the upper hand again.
From the sounds of it the relationship between the two of you worked both ways. She wouldn’t have spent any time with you if she didn’t enjoy doing so.
I say go off with your other friends and maybe make some new ones. If it was true friendship all along then your Briana friend will come along. She just needed some space.
References :
Honestly I don’t understand why Briana is mad at you. You missed school because your mom was sick she should have supported you and made sure you were okay. The only reason she would have to be upset would be if she was having trouble with something as well and you made it seem like you didn’t care. My friend and I have had that problem before but in the end what helped us was that we both admitted we were wrong.
One of us for not being attentive to the other one.
And the other one for not speaking up.
It also might be something different typically in High school your friends change alot I can’t tell you how many different people I have been friends with. That is part of growing up. Becoming who you are, and learning to cope with different types of people. It is preparing you for adulthood. For me I just go with the flow. I always find that the people I want to be around the most are the people that want to be around me to!
If I were you I would try calling my friend to see if we could go and talk face to face somewhere (not at each others houses a public place, meet there too.) When you get there tell her how you feel. Explain that you want to be friends and ask what upset HER so much last year. Tell her with school starting you need to be clear where your friendship stands and you need to know how she feels about being friends. If she says she doesn’t want to then thats okay, maybe that will change and maybe its just not meant to be. Make sure she knows you care about her. You need to be ready to apologize though and know that you might not get the outcome you want.
Don’t get angry. stay calm and simply discuss things.
the best thing to do is to go into knowing what you want but also being aware that she may not want the same things. Tell her how you feel but listen to her first. feel out the situation before decisions are made and remember that friendship is a two way street and that it takes two people to equally dedicate themselves to it.
P.S. Good luck
Go Anime!
References :